It's been a rough few weeks trying to prepare for our long mission trip to Taiwan - all the practices and the hours spent in trying to prepare for it, trying to make sure that everything that we're doing is perfect to the upmost of not just mine, but each of our's abilities.
Recently, I've been struggling in my walk with God, trying to get my own life in order. I was overcome with a feeling of loss, unsure of what to do and how to cure it. I kept struggling about how to patch this hole in me. It was only until a few days ago, that God really came to my aid. I realized that this whole time that we'd been preparing for our trip, I had not managed my own walk with God. However, my friend who i hadn't talked to the whole school year, suddenly said hi to me on Facebook. I took it as nothing, but we ended up talking till 1 am. I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness and joy, having caught up with an old friend all over again. That sense of loss in my heart wasn't gone, but it was abated for a while.
Then, a few days later, my friend came to stay the whole day. My mother decided to bring her to a Caucasian church instead, so that she wouldn't feel so awkward. And to my utter surprise, the message was about reaching out, and in a short video clip about the mission statement of this church, they just so happened to show a whole segment dedicated to Taiwan and the need for missionaries there. I felt like this was a clear message from God, that what I was going to do was right. The message was also so clearly understandable for my friend, who was able to clearly understand the essence of what I do in all my spare time, practicing and serving at Life Transforming Foundation.
It seemed as if that God had suddenly overloaded me with a sense of love, kindness, understanding, and a whole new grasp on just how much he really does care for me. I had received an email as well, from my good friend, which contained this verse: "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures FOREVER" - Psalm 136:1 NIV
Any doubt I had that God was truly watching over me was suddenly gone. All the events that had happened to me in the last week before I'm going to leave have changed me so much.
So what I ask now, is that you may keep in your prayers not just me and my walk with God, and how his love endures for eternity, but also that you yourself may understand that if there are times that you feel so down, whether it's from heartbreak or a loss, or just confusion and stress, God is there and he is watching over you. You just have to let him in, because that's what I wasn't doing.
After these past few days, I can say full-heartedly that our God is an amazing God, and you mustn't give up on him.
My thoughts on this were also only confirmed when I was listening to the K-LOVE on the radio, and radio host talked about her experiences in being stressed in trying to juggle too many things, and lost track of God along the way. I realized that, at the same time, because I was trying to prepare for this trip to Taiwan, I had taken on so many tasks to try to juggle, but I had completely lost my attention given to God.
It's hard to put into words just exactly how I have changed accurately with these simple words, but it is truly breathtaking.
I ask that you pray for this Foundation and our trip to Taiwan, and that God will continuously watch over the health of everyone, physically and emotionally, and if we should come against any tribulations or obstacles, that we have the strength to push through together as a team.
Here's a prayer for you as well if you are reading this:
I pray that you may watch over me, that I may keep in mind that you love me so much, that you were willing to give your only son for me. I might never fully understand how much it takes to show that much compassion and love, but let me always know that you will always love me, and that you will always be with me, no matter how tough the times may seem. You are the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End. Your love endures forever.
In your Son's holy precious name,